Our personal world revolves around relationships. Sadly, there are more unhealthy than healthy relationships. But we also have a strong identity with independence. So it isn’t really surprising that there is so much conflict in our lives, and in the world.
Perhaps this conflict stems not so much from our personal failings, but more from a misinterpretation of the true nature of healthy relationships.
Being dependent on others is unhealthy in adults. Seeking something or someone outside of ourselves to feel whole will never lead to happiness. It is more likely to lead to debt and loss.
Zooming out, we can see a similar picture globally, especially today with an economic collapse looming on the horizon. We, the consumers are dependent, or co-dependent, on industry for the very fabric of our lives. Industry is dependent on the consumers and the flow of resources. This flow of resources is often pillaged at any cost (often unsustainable and unacceptable), whether to human, animal or environment.
Often the worst of this pillaging is hidden from the consumer, most of whom would be righteously outraged.
Being completely independent is not possible either. We are all connected, not just to each other, but to everything in the world, even to the universe. Whatever we do has a ripple effect.
So how can we have healthy relationships while retaining our independence?
Interdependence is when we create healthy relationships where everyone and everything is validated, thrives. When everyone is equally important. Where it is mutually beneficial and nourishing at all levels. And where harm to one part is felt by everyone.
Interdependency is very different from co-dependency. Co-dependency is like an addiction, an addiction of an idea. That we can’t live a different way. That we must have the latest gizmo to feel we belong to the human race.
Do we need it to feel secure, loved, socially acceptable or happy? Most people learn that as soon as they have one coveted item, they yearn for the next one. And industry knows this very well, so keeps us co-dependent by clever marketing. It’s a vicious circle. But we, the consumers, can break it. We can refuse to be drawn in. We have the personal power of choice.
Breaking the habit of a lifetime may not be easy. Family members may feel uncomfortable as we choose differently from them. But why would we follow their path? They are probably as unhappy, if not more so, than we are. They are not leading lights.
The very first thing to address to break this habit is to understand your uniqueness. You have talents, that may be hidden, that others don’t have. You have ideas, passions, values that are in a different mix from everyone else. In short, you are an amazing being.
We are not taught this. If fact, we often learn that we are anything but. So we need to validate our own abilities ourselves. We cannot find happiness until we value who we are. In fact, it will inevitably lead to feeling worthless. In seeking healthy relationships, whether with another human, an animal or the greater world, we need to have a healthy one with ourselves first. Money cannot buy this.
One of the things I most love about good homeopathic treatment is the ability it has to cut through all our previous conditioning, to find the core of who we are and pull that into the light. All without effort, at least on our part.
Then we are able to start appreciating who we are. Inevitably, this leads to healthy relationships, with everything and everyone. Doors start opening in areas you couldn’t even see were walls. Ill health falls away as a consequence.